By the time you see this entry, open your email, or watch the video version, I’ll be heading off to the airport for a three-week vacation.

Over a year ago, Marlon Brando made me an offer I couldn’t refuse (or maybe it was the cruise line—I can’t quite remember that long ago), so I jumped at the chance to explore a part of the world I’d not seen yet and booked it like Dano (are these references landing?). I would figure out how to get there and home soon enough.

My tenure with my employer gives me 25 days off per year, so that wasn’t an issue (and, since I work remotely anyway, I can still check in—three weeks with no email will take me a week to catch up). Plus, I’m going alone (though I’ve had several offers to climb into my suitcase).

This, my friends, is me living my life after losses. As I said last week, I’m not dead yet. I spent the last six months working hard on Grief Recovery for Adults, in addition to my day job and my acting side gigs, all in anticipation of my global exploration. I will be writing and, hopefully, recording while I’m gone and I’m hoping the Universe will share some wisdom with me from another continent.

For now, I’d like to ask you a question, and I’d like for you to give it some serious thought: Are you Scarlett O’Hara or Benjamin Franklin? (Did I trip you up on the references?)

Scarlett O’Hara, the “damsel in distress” from Gone With the Wind, famously said, “I’ll think about that tomorrow,” whereas Franklin is quoted as saying, “Never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today.”

So, are you a procrastinator or a doer? I will tell you that there really isn’t a right or wrong answer, but knowing how you react to things is empowering. I just linked you to a free 5-day course on procrastination and making progress. I procrastinate quite a bit myself. It kind of comes back to that choice of where we choose to focus.

Let me ask you another question; this one is a little harder: Do you see a future? It felt like an eternity for me to ever see a future that included me getting older. I knew time would march on, whether I was there or not. At one point, I had my “ENOUGH!” moment and allowed myself to glimpse at something on the horizon.

If you know my story, you also know that “ENOUGH!” moment came with a massive disruption in my life—massive change was required for me, but not everyone needs that. We do, however, need to believe there’s more for us in this world than grief, sorrow, and anguish.

I said last week that I believe our default state should be that of happiness—why shouldn’t it be? We are not defined by our loss, but we define ourselves by how we live. I live as a single parent, double-widower, author, blogger, actor, traveler, son, brother, etc. I don’t live as loss, or grief. They are part of me, but they are not me. I hope I’m clear on the distinction. Each of these definitions of how I live have the capacity to bring me great joy and happiness—parenting has been amazing, but it’s also a difficult job and sometimes, frankly, a pain in the anatomy. But, overall, my default state as a parent has been one of happiness.

I get it; I really do. When you’re grieving, that’s all you see. You only see what you’ve lost, not what you had, and not what you’ll find. It’s part of the process. If you are grieving right now, have faith there will come a time when it won’t hurt so much. And if you’re not grieving right now, but maybe just a bit afraid of living and trying something new, start small.

My daughter always turned her nose at sushi, but one night she wanted to try it, but without the seaweed. Sure, she could have just ordered sashimi, but she wanted a roll of some sort. Our server told her they could use a soy wrap instead of seaweed, so she ordered a few pieces with the soy wrap and enjoyed the roll.

Here’s my challenge to you this week: modify something in your life, make some different choices, try something you haven’t done, look to something small in the future, and take a step toward it. Experience life.