As I was thinking about this week’s topic, I realized I’d recently watched a couple of movies where characters, deep in grief, were on the edge, ready to give up. But then something happened, something outside their control—a small shift, a reminder, a gesture, a Beach Chain—that pulled them back and gave them just enough pause to keep going. And no, neither of these movies starred Jimmy Stewart (though It’s a Wonderful Life would certainly fit).

It got me thinking about something I’d shared on social media a while back: a meme that read, “On particularly rough days when I’m sure I can’t possibly endure, I remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100%.”

No matter what life has thrown at me—and there’s been plenty—I’m still here. And if you’re reading or listening to this, then you are too.

We often think of resilience as a big, almost heroic act, but I believe true resilience shows up in quieter, everyday ways. It’s those little nudges that keep us moving, especially when the path ahead isn’t clear.

Think about Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. He faced major setbacks early in his life, and at one point, it seemed like every dream he’d had was falling apart. He’d trained for years to play pro football, but when he got cut from his team, that life suddenly vanished. He found himself broke, with no job and no clear path forward. In that low moment, he had a choice: he could stay down, or he could start again. With support from people who believed in him, he kept going, finding a new path in wrestling and, eventually, a career that would reach millions.

Resilience wasn’t one big act for him—it was a series of choices he made along the way, with the help of people who reminded him of his strength when he couldn’t see it himself.

And that’s often how resilience works. Sometimes, it’s that friend who calls just when you need to talk, a few kind words that remind you you’re not alone, or the memory of someone you love helping you find your way. Those almost invisible moments can make the biggest difference, especially when life feels heaviest.

Think about a bamboo plant. For years, it seems like nothing is happening—the seed stays underground, developing a root system that’s invisible to the naked eye. Then, when the foundation is strong enough, it shoots up, growing at an amazing rate. Our resilience often works the same way. During our hardest times, we might feel stuck or stagnant, but beneath the surface, we’re building strength we don’t even realize we have.

I’ve seen this in my own life and in the lives of others in my grief groups. Sometimes, resilience is as simple as getting out of bed or making a cup of coffee. On other days, it might mean reaching out to a friend or trying something new. Sometimes, resilience is found in allowing ourselves to rest when needed rather than pushing through. It’s not about being unbreakable—it’s about being flexible enough to bend without breaking.

Science backs this up. Research shows that resilience isn’t a fixed trait we’re born with; it’s much like a muscle we can strengthen over time. Whenever we face a challenge and find a way through it, we build our capacity to handle future difficulties, just as we talked about surfing a few weeks ago. Like any other skill, resilience grows stronger when we practice it in a community.

The holiday season is upon us, and while it can be beautiful, it can also bring up a lot of emotions. Maybe this season, resilience can be found in those small gestures—the quiet moments of connection we notice or create for someone else.

So here’s my ask of you: if you’re feeling the weight of the season, reach out to someone. You don’t have to face hard times alone. And if you know someone who might be struggling, take a moment to check in on them. Sometimes, a simple text, a quick call, or just a few minutes spent together can be a lifeline.

And if you need a reminder of your own resilience, just look at your own record: you’ve made it through every single one of your hardest days so far, and that’s pretty huge.

This holiday season, let’s pay attention to those quiet, hopeful moments—whether we’re finding them for ourselves or offering them to someone else. Resilience is often just a choice to keep going, one small moment at a time.