I’ve been sharing about manifesting dreams into reality this week on social media. It’s a theme inspired by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s famous speech and the legacy of my second husband.

Eleven years ago, on January 24th, I came home to find him unresponsive. Our kids were at school, and our lives were forever altered by the events of that day. Just like that, the dreams we shared were gone. Combined with my first loss nearly twenty years earlier, I felt like everything I had dreamed of had vanished. My only purpose was raising our children to be kind, compassionate human beings.

That purpose was meaningful, but it wasn’t my only purpose. I began to ask myself why I was still here. What else could I contribute to the world? For years, I lived without truly living, lost in survival mode, simply… existing. I slowly realized I needed to rediscover who I was beyond the losses and my purpose here.

Seeing other widows and widowers struggle with the same questions sparked something inside me. A dream began to form: I wanted to tell my story about being widowed twice and show others that life after loss is possible.

In October 2019, I started writing, though not with a rigid focus. A few months later, well… you know, the COVID-19 pandemic hit, and we were in lockdown. That forced me, like so many others, to pause. Since I couldn’t go out, I used that time to revisit my dream with renewed energy. Writing became like therapy, a way to process my grief and channel it into something meaningful.

In August 2020, I received my manuscript back from the editor. I poured over it, rewriting sections, reordering chapters, and trimming what didn’t resonate. I agonized over the cover design, wanting it to reflect the grief journey while offering hope. I loved it but eventually changed the cover to the current one. Finally, on January 26th, 2021, Life After Losses was released.

What started as a mailing list of 37 friends and family has grown into a supportive community. Over the years, I’ve written over 200 blog entries and countless social media posts and created courses and coaching programs to help others navigate their journeys because I took a step.

Dr. King once said, “Faith is taking the first step, even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” That resonates with me because taking the first step when you don’t know where you will wind up is scary. When I started writing, I didn’t know where it would lead. But I visualized a way to help others and took the first step. Step by step, the path unfolded. I didn’t have to know all the steps, just the next one.

This is what I want for you: to visualize a life where you honor your past while taking steps toward your dreams. Here’s how you can start:

• Reflect: Spend time envisioning your dream. Write it down and let yourself imagine it fully. Don’t limit yourself.
• Start Small: Identify one simple step you can take today to move closer to that vision. Don’t worry about the next step right now, just take the first step. It could be writing an idea, making a call, or researching something that excites you.
• Seek Support: Share your dream with someone you trust. A shared vision can build accountability and encouragement. Sharing my dream to write Life After Losses with trusted friends motivated me to keep going, even when the process felt overwhelming. Similarly, in my current 90-day workout challenge, the accountability keeps me motivated, and the progress I see reinforces my commitment. That’s part of the momentum from taking the first step.
• Revisit Your Progress: Dreams evolve. Periodically reflect on what’s working and needs adjusting, and celebrate the small wins along the way. Each step forward is progress.

The key is to start the journey; you don’t have to have all the answers. Whether it’s writing a book, building a business, rediscovering joy, or finding a renewed sense of purpose, the first step matters.