When I lost my first husband in 1995, I was just 28 years old. I had no idea how to process grief—especially a loss that close. Both my parents were still alive (and still are today), so I had never faced something this devastating before.

As I stumbled through recovery, I picked up lessons along the way—some discovered on my own, some learned from books, and others generously shared by people who had walked this road before me.

Nearly 20 years later, I lost my second husband. The world had changed by then. Resources were easier to find, and online support groups gave me community in ways that weren’t possible in 1995. I began sharing the advice I’d collected, and I noticed something important: no matter the source, these lessons carried a universal truth. They apply to anyone navigating loss.

I eventually gathered 13 pieces of advice—not as a therapist, but as someone who has lived it. They’re presented in the order they came to me, many woven into my book Life After Losses, and expanded further in my workbook, Thirteen Strategies to Help You Heal from Loss.

The bottom line is simple: taking care of yourself in every way—physically, emotionally, and spiritually—is critical when you’re mourning the loss of someone you love.

You can download a free copy of those pieces of advice at the bottom of this page. I hope they bring you the same comfort and clarity they brought me.