“New normal.” Even the phrase sounds like a bad cliché from a self-help book destined to prop up a wobbly coffee table. But here we are, trying to wrap our heads around it after losing someone we love. It’s like being told to “keep calm and carry on” when your world has just turned upside down—thanks for the advice, but what now?

Let’s face it: the term “new normal” is about as comforting as a porcupine in a balloon factory. It’s a phrase we use when we’ve run out of words, a societal shrug when we don’t know what else to say. It implies that life will go back to being normal, just a different kind of normal. But how can life be normal again when someone who was a part of your every day is no longer there?

Despite its clichéd nature, the concept of a “new normal” is important. It’s about finding a way to live in a world that’s changed irrevocably. It’s about acknowledging that the hole in your heart might not heal completely and learning to grow around it. And let’s be honest, if we waited for our lives to go back to the old normal, we’d be standing still forever, like mannequins in the shop window of life. “Normal” no longer exists, and “Normal” always changes.

So, how do we create and accept this “new normal?”

First of all, accept that there’s no ‘nHi Jesusormal.’ Accept that ‘normal’ is as mythical as a unicorn playing poker. Life is a messy, beautiful chaos. Embrace it.

Redefine Your Routines: Start small. If your morning coffee tastes like sadness without your loved one, try tea instead. Or, if you’re feeling adventurous, a triple espresso shot. Shake up your routine a little. It’s okay to change things that don’t feel right anymore, just like I did during the holidays.

Find Joy in the Little Things: The smell of rain, the way your dog snores, a perfect grilled cheese sandwich. Joy doesn’t always have to be big and loud. Sometimes, it’s in the quiet moments. I refer to those moments as the “in-between moments.” And if you’ve been around for any length of time, you know I frequently talk about this.

Talk About It (Or Don’t): If talking helps, find someone who listens without trying to fix you. If silence is your sanctuary, embrace it. Just remember, keeping everything bottled up is like shaking a soda can—you don’t want to be around when it explodes. Plus, bottling it all up is just not healthy.

Honor Your Loved One: Find ways to keep their memory alive. Plant a tree, volunteer, or start a conga line at a party in their honor—whatever feels right. They’re gone but not forgotten. And it’s because they’re not forgotten that they’re still there. Remember the movie Coco?

Cry, Laugh, Repeat: You know that grief has no roadmap. Some days, you’ll cry until you’re a walking, talking saltwater aquarium. On other days, you’ll find yourself laughing and then feel guilty for it. It’s all part of the process. Ride the emotional roller-coaster with your hands in the air.

Rediscover Yourself: Maybe you’ve always wanted to learn the ukulele or take up underwater basket weaving. Now’s your chance. Rediscover old passions or find new ones. I started writing; then I started acting, and now I’m coaching. It’s been ten years. I am no longer who I was.

Set New Goals: Aim for something, even if it’s just getting out of bed in the morning or remembering to water your plants. Goals keep us moving forward, one step at a time.

Embrace Change: Change is the only constant in life. Embrace it like an old friend, even if it sometimes feels like that friend who always borrows money and never pays you back.

And the big one: Be Kind to Yourself. You’re doing the best you can in uncharted waters. Be as kind to yourself as you would be to a friend in the same situation.

I think these tips can help, but the truth is, there’s no guidebook for this. The “new normal” is just another way of saying life—messy, unpredictable, and constantly changing. It’s about learning to dance in the rain, even when your heart is heavy. So, put on those rain boots and start dancing. Who knows? You might just find a rhythm in the chaos.

Have you had to find a new normal? Share your journey, your struggles, and your triumphs on the Facebook Page, or on the YouTube video. Let’s navigate this uncharted territory together, with a bit of wit, a lot of charm, and maybe a few missteps along the way.