Last weekend, I was in Atlanta for the Writers Festival with the Del Shores Foundation. As a Founding Board Member, I was so proud of the work done by the Foundation and the winners of our writers’ search. I had the opportunity to meet with many of the winners and panelists. I saw lives being changed.
I found it pretty amazing that my topic last week about being a believer in oneself and addressing imposter syndrome became a discussion point amongst the panelists during one of the sessions. The Universe was timely in that.
This week, the Universe is telling me that we need to understand the power of making decisions.
When we suffer a loss, be it the death of someone we love, a job, a relationship, a pet, or anything else, we have very little choice in the matter. I didn’t decide to lose two husbands; I didn’t decide to get laid off years ago; I didn’t decide for the economy to collapse in 2008. Some things just happen TO us. There’s no other way to think of it.
The power we have, and the power we can claim, is how we respond to those things that happen TO us. And, frankly, it doesn’t matter what you choose, as long as YOU choose the response that works for you. And guess what? That choice may change over time.
In my 13 Pieces of Advice While Grieving, my advice for dealing with date triggers is to anticipate and DECIDE how you want to experience the date. I’m very clear that you can choose to bury yourself under your covers and cry, or you can do whatever the opposite is, or anything in between. I reiterate there is no right or wrong way to mark specific date triggers, but also making the decision ahead of time provides a slight sense of control and power over the day.
The act of choosing, of asserting our power in the wake of events that leave us feeling powerless, is a testament to the human spirit. It’s in these moments of decision that we begin to shape our futures, not from the external circumstances that happened TO us, but from the internal stance we take in response to them. The power of decision is not just in the choosing itself, but in the realization that every choice we make is a brick in the foundation of our evolving selves and in our healing from our losses.
Consider the power of deciding to forgive. Forgiveness is not a gift to the forgiven but a release for the forgiver. It’s a decision to no longer let an event or person occupy rent-free space in your heart or mind. This act of choosing forgiveness over resentment is a step towards emotional freedom and wellness.
Similarly, the choice to embrace gratitude in daily life, to focus on what we have rather than what we’ve lost, can transform our attitude towards life. It’s a decision that shifts our perspective from scarcity to abundance, from lack to sufficiency. By deciding to count our blessings, we invite more joy and contentment into our lives, proving that sometimes, the most powerful thing we can do is adjust our lens through which we view the world.
Moreover, the decision to pursue passions that ignite our soul, to follow paths less traveled because they speak to our deepest desires, has been one of the most liberating things for me. I found joy again when I completed Life After Losses because, in doing so, I was able to help others while finally finding some peace and perspective in my losses. When I decided to take up acting again, I felt I was following the right path.
I had a number of great conversations this past weekend, and one of the most impactful was one I had with an actress I’ve known and been social media friends with for several years, but I never really had the opportunity to have more than a surface-level conversation with her. She said, “I’m so glad we’ve had this opportunity to get together, and I just want to tell you how happy I am to see you pursuing your dream at this point in your life. You’re doing great.”
Following a passion that brings you joy is an acknowledgment that we are the architects of our joy and that fulfillment comes not from external validation but from aligning our lives with what truly matters to us. Helping others. Telling my story. Telling stories that are meaningful to me. That all started because of a decision.
The essence of our power lies in our ability to choose. Our decisions, big and small, shape our attitudes, mold our experiences, and, ultimately, define our lives. These decisions are affirmations of who we are and declarations of our individuality and how we fit into the world. Each decision is a testament to our resilience, a nod to our ability to rise from the ashes of our circumstances, and a pledge to ourselves that no matter what life throws our way, we have the power to choose our response.
So, as you navigate through life’s inevitable ups and downs, remember that the most potent force you possess is your capacity to decide. Whether it’s how you face a challenging anniversary, how you forgive, or how you cultivate gratitude, your decisions are the brushstrokes in the masterpiece that is your life. Embrace this power with both hands and paint a life that’s uniquely and authentically yours.
