Note: This is part three of seven that delves into the PURPOSE framework introduced in my book, Grief Recovery for Adults. As a reminder, PURPOSE was designed to empower and enlighten you toward a more fulfilling life experience following loss or, in my case, losses. The structure is designed to help you find a renewed sense of purpose in your life on your terms.

Grief can make you feel like you are wandering through a dense fog where every step is uncertain and direction seems impossible to find. When you can’t see your hand in front of your face or a path forward, a supportive community can act as a lighthouse beam, cutting through the fog and offering guidance. When I first experienced loss, I didn’t realize the importance of this light. I pushed people away, caught in my own pain and lacking the tools to cope. Later, I understood that by shutting others out, I denied them the chance to help and support me, which wasn’t fair to them or their needs.

My second loss reinforced my belief that community support during grief is incredibly powerful. It can come in various forms: formal support groups, online communities, or a network of friends and family—even a community sharing meals in a porch-bound cooler every night. Each offers a unique comfort. Hearing someone else express the emotions you can’t quite put into words brings immense relief, and you can finally breathe easier knowing that others understand.

Listening to others share their grief stories is both grounding and uplifting, too. We’ve talked about the importance of sharing stories before. It reminds us that grief is a universal experience. The real value lies in seeing how others cope, heal, and honor their loved ones. These stories can inspire us and shine a light on a path we might not have seen on our own. I often tell people to use my journey as inspiration, not a blueprint. If I could make it through, maybe my story can help others too.

Being part of a community isn’t just about receiving support; it’s also about giving it. Supporting others in their grief can strengthen your own recovery. It shows you that you’re resilient and strong, even when you feel most vulnerable. Sharing your story, offering a listening ear, or simply being present adds another light to the path, guiding everyone through the fog. It reminds me of those luminarias we used to set out at night-time parties at our house. Each time I hear from someone who’s been touched by my story, it’s like adding another light so that I can actually see the path I’m on is the right one.

Finding the right community for your needs is essential, but how do we do that?

First, start by identifying what you need: a space to share openly, or a place to listen and learn from others’ experiences. Explore your options, whether local support groups, online communities, or starting a small group with friends or family who understand your loss. Finding the right fit might take a few tries, and that’s okay. The key is to find a space where you feel understood and supported, and if that takes time, then that’s what’s needed. Once you do find the right space, think about how you can contribute. Sometimes, just showing up is enough.

Drawing strength from each other is about more than shared experiences; it’s about building a network of understanding and empathy. It’s about creating a support system that holds us up when we struggle to stand. This transforms a solitary journey into a shared voyage toward healing, where every story and gesture of support strengthens the group. In this community, everyone guides and is guided through the fog of grief toward hope and renewal.

Some may say you can walk this path alone, but I caution that the solo path is much harder. Grieving is tough enough, and having support can be crucial to your healing.

I’ll say it again: Seeking additional support is not admitting defeat but showing courage. If your thoughts are consumed by loss to the point where days blend into nights, or if the joy in once-loved activities is gone, these might be signals to reach out. Recognizing that the weight of grief is not a burden to carry alone is crucial. Seeking professional help is a proactive step toward reassembling your life after grief has messed it all up.

There are many types of bereavement support available, too. Each offers unique comfort and understanding. Individual therapy provides a one-on-one setting with a therapist specializing in grief and personalizing healing. Support groups, whether in person or online, allow individuals to share their experiences, which fosters a sense of community. Workshops and seminars led by grief recovery experts provide educational resources on coping mechanisms and healing practices.

Each support system serves a unique purpose in the healing process, catering to different needs and comfort levels. Finding the best option requires weighing their benefits and limitations.

Finding the right support system involves reflecting on your needs. Are you looking for understanding, advice, shared experiences, or a space to express your feelings? Your answer will guide you to the right support. Research your options, look for reviews or testimonials, and try a few before settling on the one that feels right. Remember: it may take a few tries to find the right fit. Asking for recommendations from friends, family, or healthcare professionals can also help. I’ll keep saying it: seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. It shows your resolve to move through grief toward peace.

As we know, grief is complex and unpredictable. I believe reaching out for support is crucial for healing. If you’re seeking more insights and practical tools to help you navigate this journey and ways in which you can reach out for support, consider exploring my book, Grief Recovery for Adults, and embracing the PURPOSE framework. It’s meant to be a companion for those difficult days, offering guidance and support as you work through your emotions and find your path to healing.

Next week, we’re at the second “P” in PURPOSE, Probe for Personal Significance.