The last few weeks have been all about rehearsing and performing, while not overwhelming myself into exhaustion, so it shouldn’t be a surprise the Universe put this week’s topic front and center in my conversations: the need for self-care.

I suggested to a widow who shared the story of her recent loss, and, as I typically do, that she be kind to herself, allow herself the grace to grieve as she needed to, and said that I hoped she was practicing self-care.

“I’ve spent 46 years taking care of my husband and raising our children,” she replied. “I don’t know what self-care is.”

How many of us can relate to this?

Here’s the thing: self-care looks different for everyone. For some, it’s exercise. For others, it’s plenty of rest. And for others, it’s taking a spa day. Here are some ideas to get you to think about self-care and why self-care is not selfish.

1. Prioritize Sleep: Quality sleep is foundational to our well-being. Establish a consistent sleep schedule and create a relaxing bedtime routine. This might include reading a book, practicing gentle stretches, or meditating. It doesn’t need to take a long time, but should be relaxing.

2. Nourish Your Body: Pay attention to what you eat. As I’m re-embarking on a healthier living routine, this is important to me. Prepare nutritious meals that you enjoy. Stay hydrated. Feeding your body well is an act of self-love.

3. Move Your Body: Find physical activities that bring you joy. It doesn’t have to be intense exercise – a stroll around the block in nature, yoga, or dancing in your living room can be equally beneficial. I’ve been (inconsistently) going to Zumba classes to ease back into it.

4. Set Boundaries: Learn to say ‘no’ to commitments that drain you. Protect your time and energy for things that truly matter to you. Right now, you should matter to you.

5. Practice Mindfulness: Take a few minutes each day to be present. This could be through meditation, deep breathing exercises, or simply enjoying your morning coffee or tea without distractions.

6. Cultivate Relationships: Nurture connections with people who uplift and support you. Spend time with loved ones, join a club, or volunteer for a cause you care about. As 45 of us gathered together on a stage to perform last weekend, we forged new relationships and I enjoyed myself immensely.

7. Pursue Hobbies: Engage in activities that bring you joy and help you relax. Whether it’s gardening, painting, or playing an instrument, make time for things you love.

8. Unplug Regularly: Take breaks from technology. Constant connectivity can be overwhelming. Set aside time to disconnect and be present in your surroundings. I’ve turned off most notifications on my phone, for example.

9. Seek Professional Help: If you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to talk to a therapist or counselor. Mental health is an essential part of self-care, and I can’t emphasize that enough.

10. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself with the same compassion you’d offer a dear friend.

Self-care is not selfish. It’s necessary. When we take care of ourselves, we’re better equipped to care for others and handle life’s challenges. It’s like the airplane safety instructions – put on your own oxygen mask first before assisting others.

Self-care is also not about grand gestures or expensive treats. It’s about consistent, small actions that prioritize your well-being. It’s about recognizing your worth and honoring your needs.

For the widow I spoke to, and for many of us who have spent years caring for others, self-care might feel foreign and even uncomfortable. Start small. Maybe it’s five minutes of quiet time with a cup of tea, or a brief walk around the block. The key is to begin somewhere and make it a regular practice.

As for me, I’ve learned that self-care is crucial to maintaining my energy and enthusiasm for life. It’s what allows me to show up fully for my loved ones and my work, and to survive tech week and performing on a hot stage. Sometimes, my self-care is as simple as saying no to an extra commitment, instead opting for a quiet evening at home. Other times, it’s treating myself to a massage or a day trip to recharge.

What does self-care look like for you? I encourage you to spend some time thinking about this and make a commitment to incorporate more self-care into your daily life. You’re worth it, and you deserve to feel cared for – especially by yourself.