There comes a point in every journey where you hit a wall. Maybe you’ve been pushing forward, determined to heal, to grow, to move toward something better—but suddenly, you feel stuck. The weight of it all catches up to you. And in that moment, a simple truth becomes painfully clear:

You either quit, or you keep going. They both hurt.

Quitting—the act of giving up, resigning yourself to the weight of your pain—might seem like the easier option in the moment. It’s the quiet acceptance of, “I can’t do this anymore.” And sometimes, that surrender feels like relief. But what follows is the slow erosion of everything you once hoped for. It’s stagnation, a life that shrinks inward instead of expanding outward.

Then there’s the other option: you keep going. You keep pushing, even when you’re exhausted. Even when it feels pointless. Even when every part of you is screaming for a break. It’s not easy. It’s painful. But here’s the thing—so is quitting.

We don’t talk about this enough. The idea that progress itself can be painful. That choosing to move forward doesn’t always feel good in the moment. That growth isn’t some smooth, inspirational path—it’s messy, uncomfortable, and often exhausting.

But here’s what I’ve learned: The pain of staying the same is far worse than the pain of change.

The Pain of Growth

When I lost my first husband, I thought that was the hardest thing I’d ever endure. Then, years later, I lost my second. I could have quit. I could have let grief consume me, shrink my world down to nothing but my loss. But instead, I chose to keep going. And in doing so, I learned something unexpected: Pain doesn’t just take. It also transforms.

Every step forward hurt, but it also reshaped me. It made me see the strength I didn’t know I had. It forced me to redefine what life after loss looked like—not just survival, but something deeper. Something meaningful. It led to my work here, as an author of three books and a coach.

Chasing the Rainbow

Last Monday was St. Patrick’s Day, and it got me thinking about rainbows and pots of gold. So often, we tell ourselves that if we just reach a certain point—if we get the job, if we find love again, if we finally “heal”—then we’ll be okay. We chase that mythical pot of gold, convinced that’s where happiness lives. But what if we’ve had it backward all along?

What if the real treasure isn’t at the end but in the journey itself? The growth that comes with struggle, the perspective that loss gives us, the moments of gratitude we learn to cherish along the way—these are the true rewards.

When I look back on my own journey, I realize that for a long time, I was chasing the wrong thing. I thought healing meant reaching a point where grief didn’t touch me anymore. Where I could say, “I made it. I’m fine now.” But that’s not how healing works.

Healing isn’t a destination. It’s the decision—over and over again—to keep going, even when it hurts.

The rainbow itself is the gift, not what we hope to find at the end of it.

Choosing the Path Forward

There will be days when stopping feels like the only option. When it would be easier to retreat into the past, to wall yourself off from anything that might bring more pain. But here’s the truth: moving forward isn’t about erasing the past. It’s about carrying it with you in a way that fuels you rather than weighs you down.

You don’t move forward because it’s easy. You move forward because it’s the only way to create something new, something that honors both what you’ve lost and what still remains. It’s not about forgetting. It’s about integrating, about using every painful lesson to build a life that still has meaning.

The Strength in Choosing to Keep Going

So, if you find yourself at that crossroads—standing between quitting and pushing forward—know this: neither path is painless. But one leads to possibility. The other leads to regret.

You either quit, or you keep going. And they both hurt. But only one gives you the chance to turn that hurt into something more.

Your Turn

Where in your life have you faced this choice? What helped you keep going when quitting felt like an option? Let’s talk about it in the comments. Because no one has to walk this path alone.

I’d love to hear your story. What keeps you moving forward when everything in you wants to quit? What unexpected strength have you discovered in your darkest moments?