Tomorrow, I’m driving to New York City to do something I’ve never done before. Here I am, a 57-year-old, admittedly average, overweight white guy, and I’m going to a modeling shoot as the subject.

I have no idea what to expect other than what I’ve seen on TV or in movies, and I don’t know how accurate those are. I’m not even sure I could exude sexy if I were asked. I’m nervous, self-conscious, and excited at the same time.

I was also cast in a cabaret-type show as a featured solo artist and rehearsals start this week!

How does this happen?

I can tell you how it DOESN’T happen, and that’s by saying, “No” to every opportunity.

“Wait, wait, wait!” I can hear you say, “you’ve said before that we should say no!” True, you should say no to the things that don’t bring you joy in your life, but when you say no to everything, I’m reminded of a great line in Finding Nemo. In the film, there’s a scene where the Marlin (the father) said he’d promised he’d “never let anything happen” to his son. Dory replied, “Well, you can’t never let anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him.”

That’s how I feel when I say, “Yes!” to trying something I’ve 1) never done or 2) brings me happiness, despite the work involved. Saying “No” to those things that don’t bring me joy (and over which I have control) allows me to say “Yes!” to things like this.

There’s incredible power in saying “Yes!” It leads us to different paths, helps us find hidden talents (modeling?), and brings new connections with others. Most of us are afraid of saying “Yes!” but what if doing so led to a richer, more fulfilling life? The life you want?

You know what’s coming, right? That’s right… a list of reasons to say “Yes!”

1. Unlocking New Opportunities: Stepping outside your comfort zone opens doors to experiences you wouldn’t dare dream of (modeling?). It also activates the reward centers in your brain, releasing dopamine and endorphins, leading to feelings of pleasure and accomplishment. Imagine saying yes to an impromptu trip, a networking event, or even a challenging project at work. Each “yes” becomes a stepping stone to uncharted territories, potentially leading to your next life-changing adventure or career breakthrough (modeling?).
2. Boosting Resilience and Growth: Every “yes” is a mini-experiment in courage. It exposes you to new challenges, teaches you to navigate unfamiliar situations, and builds your resilience. You learn from mistakes, discover hidden strengths, and push your boundaries, fostering personal growth and self-confidence. Resilience is my word of the year (so far), and I’ve found none to be more resilient than the widow/widower trying to redefine their lives. Saying yes boosts the belief in your ability to accomplish tasks, further propelling you towards personal growth.
3. Deepening Relationships and Connections: Saying yes to invitations, collaborations, and even small acts of kindness strengthens bonds with friends, family, and colleagues. It fosters empathy, understanding, and shared experiences, creating meaningful connections that enrich your life. I said yes to trivia once, and now it’s a weekly occurrence with a chosen family.
4. Sparking Creativity and Innovation: Stepping outside your routine sparks curiosity and ignites the fire of creativity. New experiences, encounters, and challenges provide fresh perspectives and fuel innovative ideas, whether it’s in your artistic pursuits, professional endeavors, or personal life. I’ve said yes to acting pursuits that allow me to be creative, and I’ve said yes to learning courses that allow me to be more productive and (hopefully) helpful to you.
5. Embracing a Positive Mindset: Choosing “yes” cultivates a more optimistic outlook. It replaces fear with excitement, hesitation with anticipation, and negativity with the thrill of possibility. This positive mindset attracts further opportunities and enhances your overall well-being. And it’s not like I’ve not written about embracing the positive. (I was even referred to as a Toxic Pollyanna once).
6. More Happiness and Success: Studies show that people who are more open to experiencing something new tend to be happier and more successful.

You’re probably thinking, “hey, James, that sounds good and all, but sometimes… I’m just too afraid to say yes.” That used to be me, too. A lot. But, like anything else that’s good for you, I had to work away from those negative thoughts and anxiety. I had to break free from the fear preventing me from living the life I wanted. We do go through this at length in my Emotional Mastery Course, but in a nutshell we need a few strategies to overcome that fear of yes.

• Challenge your negative thoughts: Identify the specific fears holding you back and challenge their validity. Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that could happen?” Often, the fear is far worse than the reality. 85% of the things we worry about never happen. And, most of the time, this fear is just some B.S. (belief system) that isn’t rooted in reality.
• Focus on the potential: Shift your perspective from the risks to the possibilities. What could you learn, gain, or experience by saying yes? Focus on the exciting potential, not the scary unknown.
• Start small: Begin by saying yes to small, manageable challenges. This builds confidence and momentum, which makes tackling bigger “yeses” in the future easier.
• Celebrate your victories: Acknowledge and celebrate your successes, no matter how small. This reinforces the positive experience of saying yes and motivates you to continue. I don’t know how many times I’ve shared this in this blog in the last three years. And even before I started writing, I encouraged our children to celebrate even the smallest thing. Look, life throws enough bad at us; let’s take the “W” and celebrate the win.
• Surround yourself with supportive people: Seek out friends, family, or mentors who encourage and celebrate your willingness to step outside your comfort zone. Their support can be invaluable in overcoming fear and embracing “yes.” I’ve found this to be one of the most powerful tools in my arsenal. Hearing people that you respect telling you, “Yes, you can,” is powerful.

Have I convinced you of the power of yes yet? What can you say yes to now that you haven’t so far? I’d love it if you’d share it on YouTube or the Facebook page.