In late 2019, I had the first inkling to start working on Life After Losses. I didn’t know what I was doing or exactly what I wanted. My first thought was to share my story and to show myself, and others, that loss doesn’t define us, and that there’s still life to live while I’m still breathing.
Naively, I thought if I wrote a nice, inspiring book, I could inspire the masses. I envisioned coaching (which I still offer) and speaking engagements where sharing my story and message of hope would reach viral proportions online.
The only virus that happened was COVID-19 all over the world, which definitely put a damper on what I wanted to do, and what I thought was the direction I was taking. But, something else happened during that time. I found that I HAD time to finish writing. I had time to get the work done, and, like many others, I had time to slow down and reflect on those things that brought joy into my life.
While writing the memoir, I was mired in memories of the past, having visions and recollections of things I’d long forgotten about while living within the trappings of life itself. I’d forgotten about myself at some point and those things that brought me joy. While some may think it selfish to do so, I feel doing so allows me the chance to be more selfless.
Mired again in memories this week as I reflected on 29 years since the death of my first husband, I was also living my life with a dream. During the pandemic, and the self-reflection of writing, I found that I really missed my creative side; I missed acting.
My friend and award-winning writer, director, producer, actor, teacher, coach, mentor, and other multi-hyphenate Del Shores also started offering acting classes via Zoom. Having been out of the game for more than a few decades, I started taking the beginning class taught by another talented, multi-award-winning, multi-hyphenate, Mat Hayes. Fast-forwarding, I “graduated” to the advanced class with Del himself.
My confidence was buoyed, and I set off to find opportunities outside class once the pandemic restrictions were lifted enough for me to do so. To my surprise and delight, I found myself booking roles. Most didn’t pay anything, but it was the experience I was after. Life is made up of experiences, after all, and that’s what I collect.
Fast-forwarding to this week: over the weekend, I was on the set of my second full-length independent feature film doing something I never thought I’d do. My character is a bad guy, and this 57-year-old, (I’ll say it) fat guy filmed his first hand-to-hand fight scenes. THAT was most definitely an experience!
Right about this point, my mom would ask, “What’s that got to do with the price of tea in China?” Here’s the point: my losses haven’t defined me, though they’ve helped shape me. I share this story as an illustration that there is, indeed, life after losses when we’re willing to try and step out of our comfort zone.
I’ve spent the last several months, since I started working on Grief Recovery for Adults, looking at where I want to take this Life After Losses journey. My mission has become more focused, even if my processes are still a little muddled (I’m working on it). I’ve been working on rebranding (and, if I’m totally honest, just “branding” because of the hodge-podge direction under which I started).
I’ve started with a new logo and color scheme (as displayed in the banner photo). I’m working with a designer on a cleaner website. I’ve been embracing video content on YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook. I’m still doing quick daily posts in text but following up with a longer video.
You might also find I have a new tagline on the logo: Inspiring Transformation. After nearly five years on this mission, I managed to narrow down my goal to two words: I want to inspire others to transform into whomever they desire to be. And while grief and recovery are the cornerstone of the work I’m doing, they won’t be the focus. They can’t be the sole focus if I want to inspire transformation.
Life After Losses is, after all, about life—and living. I hope you’ll stick around for the next chapter in this journey. Don’t forget to subscribe by clicking on the social media icons below for additional content. As always, I welcome any feedback.
