As we enter the last month of the year, our thoughts naturally turn to the past, reflecting on what was, while simultaneously focused on the future and the promise of a new year.
For many of us, this conflict between then and there can feel overwhelming, so much so that we have difficulty staying in the now. However, I’d argue that the now is the only place where we can mentally stay for our well-being.
I’ve shared about mindfulness so much over the last several years, either in this space, in the daily social posts, Grief Recovery for Adults, and even the Mindfulness Challenge we did a few months ago. There’s a reason this comes up every now and again, and it’s not just that I can’t think of anything else to share; it’s not only a reminder to you, but it’s also a reminder to myself.
I also have to do the work because some things just do not come naturally to me. I remind myself that today is all I have and that today is where memories are made, today is where experiences are felt, and today is all that is.
No doubt you’re familiar with a quote attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt: “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.”
To appreciate the “gift” of today, however, we also need to be present. (And here’s where you’ve gotta love the English language that gives us words spelled and pronounced the same, and the only reason we know its meaning is in its context.)
Instead of presents, your presence (with a “c”) is the best gift that you can give yourself and those around you. If you follow the video channels, you might remember me mentioning that a few weeks ago.
Here’s the thing… We can’t do anything about changing the past, right? We don’t have a time machine; we can’t take back words we said or change what we did or what happened. I think we can all agree with Mrs. Roosevelt, right? The past is history.
Likewise, we can’t possibly know what the future holds. Someday may never happen, and we worry about things that will never happen. We can prepare for the future and take steps toward reaching a future life we want, but I think we can all agree with Mrs. Roosevelt again. The future is a mystery.
That leaves us in the here and now. This is where we can look back at memories or where we can start those steps toward a future we’d like to have.
When you find yourself spiraling toward the past or the future, remind yourself to pause. Recognize your thoughts, and bring yourself back to the present. I’ve found the 5-4-3-2-1 method to be helpful for me:
- Identify 5 things you can see
- Identify 4 things you can touch
- Identify 3 things you can hear
- Identify 2 things you can smell
- Identify 1 thing you can taste
You are bringing yourself back to the present by grounding yourself to your senses.
The great thing about the 5-4-3-2-1 method is that you can do it anywhere, anytime. Whether you’re stuck in traffic, sitting at your desk, or lying in bed unable to sleep. It’s extremely simple, and it can help anchor you back to the present moment.
As you find yourself torn between memories of the past and the promise of a new year, don’t forget that you’re living in the now. This moment – right here, right now – is where your story is being written. It’s where joy is felt, connections are made, and life happens.
