Do you remember those little slips of paper we carried as kids—the ones signed by a parent or teacher that allowed us to leave early, skip gym class, or go on a field trip? They were like golden tickets, weren’t they? Granting us permission to do something out of the ordinary?

As adults, though, we often forget that we can give ourselves permission—which can be crucial during the holidays. Instead, we feel burdened by societal norms and expectations. The picture-perfect decorations, packed social calendars, and traditions that no longer resonate can leave us overwhelmed. But here’s a radical thought: You don’t need anyone else’s approval to opt-out.

Permission Slips for the Holidays

The holidays can be a time to focus on what truly matters—connection, peace, and joy. And that doesn’t always mean following everyone else’s expectations. For some, the season brings happiness, but for others, it can feel heavy with obligation, melancholy, or sorrow. The good news? You get to decide how to spend your time and energy.

Here are a few ways to give yourself permission:

• Permission to Say No: You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your choices. “No” is a complete sentence. Whether it’s declining an invitation to a holiday gathering or opting out of a gift exchange, you can make decisions that honor your energy and priorities.
• Permission to Rest: Are you feeling drained just thinking about holiday prep? It’s okay to skip decorating this year if it feels more like a chore than a joy. Curling up with a book, taking a nap, or enjoying a quiet evening can be just as meaningful.
• Permission to Redefine Traditions: Don’t feel obligated to cook a full holiday meal if it’s just you or a small group. Maybe pizza and a holiday movie marathon sound more appealing—and that’s perfectly fine. Consider what traditions you truly value and let go of the ones that no longer fit your life.
• Permission to Feel: The holidays can stir up a mix of emotions, especially for those of us navigating grief or loss. Allow yourself to experience whatever emotions come up, without trying to force holiday cheer. Feeling sad or nostalgic is a natural part of this season for many, and honoring those emotions can be an act of self-care.

Practical Steps to Reclaim Your Holidays

If you’re not sure where to start, here are some actionable ideas to create your own holiday permission slip:

• Make a List of Non-Negotiables: What truly matters to you this season? It might be spending time with a specific loved one, enjoying your favorite comfort food, or simply having quiet moments to reflect. Prioritize these over everything else.
• Set Boundaries Early: Communicate your needs with family and friends in advance. A simple, “This year, I’m keeping things low-key” can go a long way in setting expectations.
• Simplify Gift-Giving: If buying gifts feels overwhelming, suggest alternatives like a Secret Santa exchange, homemade gifts, or donating to a cause in someone’s name.
• Plan for Emotional Triggers: Think ahead about situations that may stir up grief or stress. Write down a few self-care strategies—like taking a walk, journaling, or calling a supportive friend—to help you navigate those moments.
• Create New Traditions: This can be as small as making a favorite meal, watching a movie, or taking a day to yourself. New traditions don’t have to be elaborate; they just need to feel meaningful to you.

Your Permission Slip

The beauty of adulthood is that we don’t need a signed note from someone else to live authentically. But sometimes, it helps to give ourselves that tangible reminder. Write down what you’re giving yourself permission to do—or not do—this season. Maybe it’s as simple as:

“I give myself permission to decline invitations without guilt.”

“I give myself permission to prioritize rest and self-care.”

“I give myself permission to grieve and honor my feelings.”

Tape it to your mirror, tuck it in your planner, or keep it on your phone. Let it remind you that this season is yours to navigate in a way that honors who you are now.

Permission Granted

This holiday season, let connection, peace, and joy guide your choices—not someone else’s expectations. Step away from obligations that feel draining, and lean into moments that genuinely resonate with you.

What will your permission slip say? Share it with me—I’d love to hear how you’re reclaiming the holidays this year.